Tuesday, April 1, 2014

91/365 • trust for the words: trudge up the mountain


Every evening, after the smalls are tucked in tight, I draw the blinds closed.
I wander the house, picking up bits and pieces, returning them to where they belong.
As I go, I flick off all the lights, except a couple in the kitchen.
He boils the kettle, and makes the tea, and tonight I plate a sneaky treat - Wholefood Simply ginger cake with curls of butter. 

The autumn air carries a slight chill now, and the sun sets earlier, casting it's amazing pinks over the ocean. 

I sip, and think, and fold three loads of laundry, and write mental to-do's.
And hope that the coughing I hear coming from the girls' bedroom won't interrupt her sleep.

I am exhausted, and drained, and my tea isn't filling me where I need to be filled, but it's so easy to ignore the empty and get busy. 
Rather than ignoring the busy and finding my knees.

Day 91 and I feel the hard trudge, up the mountain. The part I'd like to turn around, fall to my arse and slide right down again.
But, discipline sees me continuing to drag my feet. 
To drag out the words, the ones that re-read like the dregs, right at the bottom. 
And pray that there is something left for tomorrow.
I know I'm only questioning the 'why' because it's hard.
And I'll ignore the question, and ignore the busy, and find my knees, and trust for the words.

xx

7 comments:

  1. I've just stumbled across your blog a few days ago and I'm so glad I did; gentle, heartfelt, genuine and inspiring. I'll certainly be a regular reader xo

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    1. Hi Tina! So lovely to meet you. THANK YOU, for your amazing words of encouragement! They mean so so much xx

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  3. When I sit down at night after my little ones have gone to bed, I read your blog. Everyday. Your words inspire and challenge me. They speak so truthfully of this life we lead as mothers. I'm reminding myself everyday lately to trust Him more, to depend on Him more...for everything. Keep going, you're doing an AMAZING job! x

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  4. When I sit down with my cup of tea after my little ones have gone to bed, I read your blog. Everyday. Your words inspire and challenge me and speak so truthfully of this life we lead as mothers. I'm reminding myself everyday lately to Trust Him more, to Depend on Him more...for everything. Keep going, you're doing an amazing job! x

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    1. Catherine, wow! Thank you, thank you!
      And you? Keep going too, motherhood is so often a thankless job - you are doing amazing I am sure. But by his grace xx

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  5. Is it odd to say describe this post as refreshing? Refreshing to find a kindred spirit - tidying up at the end of the day and feeling God's gentle nudge to slow down and reflect while the wee ones slumber. So often easier said than done. I drink my tea at the end of the evening, usually with a sweet bite, and ask God to carry me through to another day. Golly, this Mama stuff can be hard work. Today I had to remind myself that if I am going to look back on these years as the "best of my life" then I better act like they are while I'm living them. It helped me get through the morning and made me smile even through the toddler tantrums. I guess God gives us perspective right when we need it. :)

    I hope you are having a lovely week. I so enjoy reading your blog. I stopped blogging, but am slowly trying to get back to it again. Until then, I instagram and read others well written words. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

    :) Rachel

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