It's cold in my kitchen. Today I'd sit you down with a bowl of steaming hot soup, made with my mamas home grown pumpkins.
It's almost time to replace my Saltwater sandals with something a little warmer for the tootsies, but the scarf is keeping me warm enough today.
The walk to school was a brisk welcome to Term 2, and both kiddos were energetic and excited to be back.
If you were to tea with me today, I'd be a lot more chilled than last week.
Last week I probably chatted about motherhood to mask the gnawing in my stomach about decisions I was making, and considering. This week, the decisions have well and truly been made, and the work carried out, and my hands dusted.
This week, I'd be breathing easier. Dreaming more freely, and boiling the kettle.
I'd tell you about how I've actually been praying.
About how I didn't know until recently why I hadn't placed a whole lot of value on actually laying things before God in prayer. I involved Him in my days but I didn't go to Him for help.
I like to control my life my way.
I want to do things so that I know things are actually being done.
Because so much of how He works is unseen, and my very normal unspiritual mind doubted if He would actually work at all.
But it doesn't always work.
A few weeks ago I was smacked in the face with the feeling of helplessness.
It made me pray like I haven't for a long time.
And something shifted in me, and changed in my faith.
Answers and change don't often come in a sudden change of circumstances, but in a subtle shift in my own heart, feelings, mind.
In such a way that those circumstances aren't as destructive after all.
And sometimes, answers and change come in a humble husband, or a child who finally gets it or unexpected friendship at just the right moment.
And maybe I should stop questioning and just ask.
Don't bargain with God. Be direct. This isn't a cat-and-mouse hide-and-seek game we're in.*
If you were to tea with me today, I'd probably bore you with my budgeting plans too.
My ledger, and receipt-keeping, and budgeting for groceries, and putting a stop to unnecessary spending; being aware of what is coming in and going out is sometimes a painful reality check. I'm thankful for friends around me who can be transparent with their own budgeting highs and lows, and help me to put something in place that brings us to a place of financial freedom (and no credit card debt!).
What are you drinking? What's on your heart? Have you prayed lately, and seen answers?
Do you have a budget? How do you save money? Tea with me?
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* Luke 11:11-13