Sunday, October 6, 2013

failing to grasp hope


I watched my children create; paint, glue, glitter. Unashamed and abandoned to their art.
They looked upon their creations with a definite sense of "it is good" in their eyes.
They decided within themselves that their work was good. That it was beautiful. 
And that it was a proud offering, worthy of being displayed on the most visible wall.

In this age of social media, I fear I am losing that true abandonment in my creativity. 
I no longer look at what I've created with a sense of satisfaction, and a knowing that 'this is good, this is me' unashamedly. 
No. I wait for the 'likes' to roll in, and allow perfect strangers to take a place of judgement. 
I let their measuring stick rule me, and seeds of comparison are planted, and watered unknowingly.

Rather than letting the creative work of other people encourage and inspire me, it has made me shrink back. My shoulders slump and my hands fail to grasp hope for my own dreams, in the fear that they simply don't measure up.
And because of this fear I've become more guarded, less open and real. 

This week, a mini road trip, and a few nights away will hopefully provide the space, and the clarity I'm seeking. The direction I'm going. 
The dreams I need to let go of, or the ones I need to work harder at.
There's definitely a shift in the air.

xx

4 comments:

  1. oh Em - I want to hug you and shake you in the same moment! you are wonderful, talented, creative, inspiring. I know it's easy to say and sometimes harder to DO - but don't you dare waste another minute watering those seeds of comparison! there is room for us all - creativity has no boundaries, no edges, no rules.. that's why they call it creativity.. ;)
    I hope this mini break will give you what you need - the clarity and time to breathe - and see, how wonderful you really are. If there's an open fire where you're going, throw that bloody measuring stick in it!! big hugs, you beautiful, creative soul xxx

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  2. Oh I'm with you all the way! xx
    I have posts drafted and buzzing around in my head on the same thing. This strange place we've found ourselves in with technology and needing external gratification for all that we do. Even cooking breakfast! I hope you enjoy your break xx

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  3. wow. beautifully written and so true! thank you for the challenge to create simply for the joy of creating and expressing God's love, and not for the approval of others.

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  4. Oh Em! This so sums what how I've been feeling lately - I've been so conscious that I view and look at other people's talents and creativity and allow that to cloud and discourage me from trying to express myself … sometimes I think we focus so much on the temporal things we can see without also trying to grasp the unseen eternal things - which are of so much more worth!
    thank you so much for sharing!
    much love xx

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