For two Mondays in a row now, I have enjoyed a still house. Just me. Big kids at school, little in daycare. University is finished for the semester, and I've had nowhere to be but here.
Determined not to waste a precious moment of such quiet, and productivity, both Mondays were planned, and a to-do list worked through.
For two Mondays in a row, the house has been vacuumed, and mopped. Oh hello, shiny jarrah floor!
For two Mondays in a row, I have meandered through the aisles of the grocery store, trying to hide my glee at other mothers juggling demanding toddlers. And been able to think straight, and amazingly tick off everything from my list.*
I've had dinner prepared in advance, the bathroom scrubbed, windows glistening, and afternoon tea ready for hungry little people's arrival home.
Joy, pure joy, in this clean little house.
Tunes softly playing in the background, and a headspace free from muffled demands from two year olds in the depths of the fridge or pantry, I prayed, and sang, and thought my days away.
And that most amazing man of mine has encouraged me to keep that little one in daycare for one day a week, even though my studying next semester will be external, and there will be no need for me to attend campus. He said, "but it will be nice for you to have a day to yourself, and feel organised for the rest of the week. That would make life easier for you wouldn't it?"
Oh my sweet husband. Working so hard, studying so much, and still he offers me a day off a week. An expensive paying-for-daycare-still day off a week.
The thing is, I don't know if I can do it.
I adore the stillness, I love the productivity.
I just don't like knowing she is just there, and I am right here, and she could be with me.
Endlessly chattering, highly demanding, productivity lowering.
But her. The little person that seems to justify my time at home, and bring substance to my day. And in a blink, she will be at school.**
Should I be brave? It's only one day.
But what about the money? Surely it would be better to save that amount per week. It could pay for a holiday in six months.
Either way, I will enjoy a Monday or two more at least.
*and sneak in a bag of donuts I didn't have to share
** I am telling myself that anyway, she won't start part-time school until 2015. It's a long time!