I don't know whether it's the fact that it's nearing the end of school holidays, or that we've just spent every day for the last two weeks at the pools for the biggest kids' swimming lessons, or that this year I'd internally resolved to be more patient, and more present with my kids and it's the naturally occurring opposition; of course they would be harder to deal with under such a resolution.
Either way, I'm losing my cool quicker, and grasping for something, anything, to bring back peace to my household.
I'm beginning to think it will only happen at three.
Surely when miss Amie Bella turns three, there will be less tantrums about shoes/shorts "NOT WORKING!" and dresses, "NOT TWIRLING!!" and those little legs will be much more still, rather than kicking or stomping about during a tantrum over wanting to hold the iPad/change her shoes/have a third bowl of yogurt.
Two is hard. Surely when she turns three I'll find some patience?
Surely by then it will be easier to simply hang out with my kids, without being whinged at, tugged on, or hearing, "Muuuuuuummmm" three billion and sixty eight times of the day?
Is it something I need to purpose in my heart to be now.
So that I can lay on the bedroom floor and play Lego with the six year old boy who will soon morph into a seven year old, and need me less.
So that I can have the patience to sit, and play, and be climbed on and have my hair "brushed pretty" by the girls who are so excited when mummy comes to play.
And when I write these words, I feel perspective shifting, and my stomach dropping at the thought of todays impatience.
Today's not now's and maybe later's and just wait's, that never resulted in what was being asked. And I'm feeling the weight of the motherload, and the mother guilt, and loving more the babes who were so demanding, and brought me almost to tears.
Aren't they so loveable while they sleep?!
And tonight, I resolve again that the housework can wait, that tomorrow I'll be the fun mum, the 'yes' mum and lay down my life to build them up.
So thankful for new mercies each day.