Thursday, January 24, 2013

twos are terrible


I don't know whether it's the fact that it's nearing the end of school holidays, or that we've just spent every day for the last two weeks at the pools for the biggest kids' swimming lessons, or that this year I'd internally resolved to be more patient, and more present with my kids and it's the naturally occurring opposition; of course they would be harder to deal with under such a resolution.
Either way, I'm losing my cool quicker, and grasping for something, anything, to bring back peace to my household. 
I'm beginning to think it will only happen at three.

Surely when miss Amie Bella turns three, there will be less tantrums about shoes/shorts "NOT WORKING!" and dresses, "NOT TWIRLING!!" and those little legs will be much more still, rather than kicking or stomping about during a tantrum over wanting to hold the iPad/change her shoes/have a third bowl of yogurt.

Sigh.

Two is hard. Surely when she turns three I'll find some patience?

Surely by then it will be easier to simply hang out with my kids, without being whinged at, tugged on, or hearing, "Muuuuuuummmm" three billion and sixty eight times of the day?

Or. 
Is it something I need to purpose in my heart to be now
So that I can lay on the bedroom floor and play Lego with the six year old boy who will soon morph into a seven year old, and need me less.
So that I can have the patience to sit, and play, and be climbed on and have my hair "brushed pretty" by the girls who are so excited when mummy comes to play.

And when I write these words, I feel perspective shifting, and my stomach dropping at the thought of todays impatience. 

Today's not now's and maybe later's and just wait's, that never resulted in what was being asked. And I'm feeling the weight of the motherload, and the mother guilt, and loving more the babes who were so demanding, and brought me almost to tears.
Aren't they so loveable while they sleep?!

And tonight, I resolve again that the housework can wait, that tomorrow I'll be the fun mum, the 'yes' mum and lay down my life to build them up.

So thankful for new mercies each day.

xx 

7 comments:

  1. 3's are pretty much the same sorry to brake it to you. I'm feeling the same. Once school is back & routine kicks in the stress levels are sure to drop. YOU ARE A FANTASTIC MUM!!!!!

    Xxxx

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  2. it's relentless isn't it Em! For me...my both hit the terribles a bit later at 3...although now that they are 6 and 4 the sibling arguments are what frustrate me. I feel like the umpire some days, trying to be fair, to reason, to plead with them to play nice and then figure out activities and games both of them will enjoy...Motherhood is such a conundrum! Em you are a wonderful mum, with such a spirited heart and soul. Some days are harder than others, but your children seeing you as real, and sometimes defeated is a good thing...you role modelling natural normal emotions. Hope your friday is happy xx

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  3. Oh if only we knew what Motherhood would hold before...but it is the most precious position in the world despite the challenges of each "age" we are raising. This is such a beautiful post. I love how you are always so real but bring it back to the place of love. You are just love. xxx

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  4. Oh Em how this resonates. Thank goodness you are so eloquent as you have put down every single heart's yearning that I have into words that make me feel ok, coz you are going through it too. I would like to say things get better at 3, but you know, being there before, that everyday just brings new challenges. His mercies are divinely sweet and He renews us whenever we ask whether we knew we asked Him or not. Praise God that He co-parents! Thank you for sharing your talent for writing and relating. xxx

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  5. You've captured my thoughts exactly! Thankyou God for new mercies and clean hearts whenever we need them (every minute!) My quick posts on IG and blog this morning echo your thoughts. So beautifully put as usual. Thankyou. Glad to finally check back in xx

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  6. Def needed to hear this today. My two year old bought me to tears many times this morning. Thanks for the reminder that His mercies are new every morning!

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  7. I felt this way (in fact I'm sure we all do at some stage or multiple stages during motherhood) when my youngest turned 5. She went from being a cruisey as preschooler, my little buddy, to this awful tantrum throwing screamer when she started school! She loves school and is totally angelic for her teachers, just a wild thing at home!
    I spent her whole first year waiting for it to pass.....6 now and still waiting.....she has improved a bit. Sigh.

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