Tuesday, July 24, 2012

the plant of slow growth

I moved to a new school in Year 11. It was the year I decided to be serious about my faith. 
It was a year of new beginnings. I was searching for soul mates. 
God answered my prayers with a group of girls I felt like I belonged to, and with.
But one beautiful girl in particular.
I felt like the Aristotle quote was true when it came to the two of us. We were a single soul.
She loved God. She didn't do things just because everyone was doing them. 
She was sweet, and different, and so much like me it was crazy. 
I felt like, with her, I always had someone in my corner. Someone who would back me, side with me, stick up for me.
Because, you know, high school can be a scary place. 
In that time of discovering who we were, we discovered together.
We op-shopped together (when it was far from the "cool" thing to do), spent too many hours laying on the beach, and more hours staying up late making mix tapes. (Aah, cassette tapes... yep, teens in the 90's!)

After high school, our lives followed the same path.
We did Business College together, and went on to work in the big city, with many a train ride commute spent together.
We were there for each other through break-ups with boys, changes in jobs, and fights with our mums. We prayed together, laughed together, cried together. 
And drank coffee, and listened to music, and drove around in my 1972 VW Beetle.
Of course we had our own regular tiffs over emails, or phone calls.
But we always made up, we always just "got" each other. We said sorry.

I was always so grateful for her friendship. She was my best friend. The one I prayed for.

And then things got fuzzy.
I don't know what happened exactly. 
I can't pinpoint one thing.
Our lives seemed to change direction. To take different paths.
She went to university, I fell pregnant, and got married.

And one day, we had a terrible fight.
In the midst of my loneliness in first-time-motherhood, and newness of marriage, and feeling depressed about my new mother body and lack of freedom... I lashed out.
We fought, over the phone, and within minutes she was there on my doorstep.
I was defensive, and insecure, and that day, on the porch of my little house on a beautiful big block of land we lived on in the bush, I yelled and cried, made accusations and broke a beautiful friendship.

And whilst eventually, we talked again, apologised, moved on...
It was still broken. 
There were underlying hurts, and because of these, repeated disappointments.
It wasn't the same, and it hurt.

It hurt to see her live a life I wasn't a part of.
It hurt to do life without her.

And while I have always had gorgeous friends, a beautiful support network of women I can count on, there were times I knew she would have been the only one who understood. And I missed that.
In my heart of hearts I wanted back that friendship we had, but I doubted the possibility.

Until one day, the hurts came out. Little by little. 
We aired them.
We apologiesed. 
Slowly, the friendship became genuine again.
We trod lightly, and gently. I was real. I didn't harbor hurt or bitterness.
I let go, and so did she.

And in the last few weeks, I really feel like restoration has taken place.



I think this photo was taken in year 12. Me on the right.




"True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation."
-George Washington


It's true.

I'm so grateful.

God surely is the restorer of hearts, and lives, and friendships.

xx

10 comments:

  1. This is written so beautifully and I was holding my breath for the happy ending. Your story has struck a chord with me Em. I know that emptiness and regret. I praise God for the former things will pass away and tears will be shed and then will stop. It is such a blessing that God has enabled you both to stop letting the sun go down on your mutual sorrows.
    Forgiveness is powerful and restorative.
    Such a wonderful story dear! Blessings Fi xx

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    1. Thanks Fi! I'm so glad God is into forgiveness & restoration - I'm so far from perfect! xx

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  2. I love EVERYTHING about this post! Love friends of your destiny even if sometimes you go through the seasons of life that aren't so pleasant!

    Love reminiscing of op shop shopping before it was "cool", VW's, church and good times whist reading this post!

    Love that I can call you friend! Because, you, Em are a TRUE friend!

    XXXXXXXXXXXX

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    1. Aaah, we've had many a good time in our Bugs and second hand stores... and a few little tiffs ourselves ;) Love you gorgeous friend! xo

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  3. Wow!!! Powerful post. Was going to ask what will you be studying, but will read the next post first. It should be something to do with writing - cause you are good at it.

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  4. YES! I didn't see the happy ending coming, so beautiful and Im full of admiration for you both. And how CUUUUUUTE is that photo!?!

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    1. We were cute weren't we?! ;) Thankful our God is a God of happy endings!! xo

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