Tuesday, August 16, 2011

a grumpy slump

I have been a grump.
Internally grumpy.
There is no other word for it.
I couldn't put my finger on why.
Other than obvious factors like notsowell kidlets and one super clingy baby, (I seriously feel like I am walking on a lean permenantly from having my very solid baby on my quite petite hip!) but even that is not usually enough to make me grump so.
My husband is amazing.
My friends have been exactly what I need.
And still this never-ending grump.

It's not an outside grump. Not one that I am taking out on anyone.
My husband didn't know.
There were no dragon mama moments (okay I'm sure there were one or two, but nothing related to the grump).
I have had some 'me time'.
I have had a date night with said amazing husband.

And still the grump!

So.
Last night, a little bit of revelation.
Just a little.

It's growing pains.
It's being required more of, and fighting that fact.
It's this constant battle with my never content soul that tells me to feed it all sorts of goodness: buying pretty clothes or nights curled up reading The Wind in the Willows, or crocheting, or making pretty things with pretty fabric.
Rather than doing what I should be doing...

Spending more time in the Word.
Studying.
Praying.
Investing in people.

Instead of in myself



It's just where I'm at.
I probably need to relinquish control again.

For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.
{2 Chronicles 16:9}



I am going to be spending time making sure my heart is loyal to Him and Him only.
If that means putting down some classic lit, and immersing myself in the Word, then so be it.
It means sacrificing me time.
After all, there's always a cost.

Ugh.
I've put my finger on it.
I know what I need to do.
And now to stop fighting it. (...and get rid of this grumpy slump!)

xx

3 comments:

  1. Well you're the loveliest grump I know! Glad you've pinned it! Now you can expect those fun "what have you been reading in the Word?" texts! ;) and feel free to send 'em right back! PLEASE! All encouragement is encouraged! Love you muchly my friend x

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  2. How encouraging! Lately I have been feeling the same. Thankfully his mercies are new EVERY morn. <3 xx

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  3. I relate to this entry. Thank you for posting! There is nothing more comforting..and needed..than Gods word :)

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