Sunday, May 1, 2011

just be still

I had been crazy me. 'Go go' me. I had been on top of the never ending laundry, my floor had been clean, beds made. My daughters hair had been brushed. The dinner had been prepared, sometimes in advance. The kitchen had been shining, the dining table uncluttered. I had a sense of accomplishment at the end of each day, and could stand, staring proudly at my lounge room carpet which sits happily uncovered in toys, for hours!
I had baked yummy cookies, made pizza dough from scratch, and prepared a three course dinner (thank you Donna Hay!) for old friends. My house had been presentable. In order.
My daughter's third birthday was decorated with pink tissue paper flowers, and bunting, and the tablecloth covered table laden with sweet pink treats of every kind.
And the mess clean and cleared within the hour everyone had departed.

For weeks I had strived and strained. Yes, it felt great to have my house in order. Yes, I love organisation, and clutter-free space. But was done... all to do again tomorrow! Martha anyone?

But Mary. She got to just sit. Sit at His feet. Sit and listen. Let her soul be filled with His words, and let her Spirit soar.

I have been so drudged down with menial (yes, somewhat necessary!) work that I have rushed past Him, waiting, sitting there. I have always had something to do. Sometimes I would sit, but I would rush Him. Hurried by all the tasks on my brain to do. Mind whirring like the washing machine, tumbling like the dryer (yes, both of them on; that load to hang, that one to fold, then the kitchen to clean, lunch to prepare, what will we have for dinner tomorrow?, when will I squeeze in that coffee time with that girl? Next week I will have to get school uniforms organised, and don't forget to pay that electricity bill later...). Never really being still before Him - certainly not still in my mind! And no end to the frustration that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get things clean and tidy all at once.
Not to mention the nagging guilt that I hadn't sat to play Lego with Mr J, or read that story to Princess E... and Baby A's sleep time was used to make phone calls, instead of joining the kids on the trampoline.

Amongst all this, that whirring, tumbling mind of mine: whirring and tumbling in the wrong directions - all over the place! Focusing on hurts, and irritations, suspicions and accusations... and my outer too busy to stop and consider the inner.

And by sitting at His feet, being still completely...
I found rest. I found that I don't need to have, and do, it all.

By sitting still came all the answers I need.
The only Answer.

"Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10

xx

8 comments:

  1. What a wonderful reminder - I am so guilty of being Martha most days..xx

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  2. Lovely Em! I think I've become too much of a Mary...if that's possible...my house needs some special attention today!!
    Great post! xx

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  3. So good babe..

    My sis in law lent me a book "Having a Mary heart in a Martha world"
    Soooooooo good!

    Xxx

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  4. You are not alone on this one!! Yes, so goes life doesn't it - days just becomes to busy as you say with the necessary - which sometimes seems never ending (esp. my laundry)!! I agree with Linda "Having a Mary heart in a Martha world" is a very inspiring and encouraging read!

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  5. Oh Em, you so just reached into my chest a gave my heart a massive knocking on.
    I have been so much of a martha these days trying to keep myself busy (and there is always SOMETHING to do around the house) not really wanting to sit at His feet, I suppose scared of what might happen to my heart, am I ready for Him.

    Aside from that I am starting to realise that we can have a balance between our Mary and Martha spirits/mindsets. Going to Him is where we will get our balance. :)

    Thanks again babe. xx

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  7. i love this one em!
    your converting me one blog post at a time!
    xx

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  8. Great post Em..I have been guilty of being caught up in a Martha world at times but am slowly learning to be more and more to just be in the moment.

    Loving the sound of that book Linda :)

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