Thursday, April 17, 2014

107/365 • keep tending

She primps and plumes this space with love and care and thoughtfulness.
She draws out what is good, what is pure, what is worthy to be shared.
She lives her life through the lens of her camera, capturing beauty in ordinary, in mundane.
The ordinary and the mundane that sometimes we forget to see, and she reminds herself here to see and appreciate and breathe thanks.
She lives an imperfect life, struggling to find her way, but finding the bravery to share the struggles, and her faith in the One who gives strength despite them all.

She'd forgotten why she shared her life and her space, but was reminded gently.
live open, love well

So the words will fall out, and she'll make the most of them, place them here without too much striving for perfection, and hope that He can use them to speak to hearts.
She had been wooed by bright lights, and the offer of dreams realised.
But sometimes the right thing, the hard thing, is to drag eyes away and focus on the Dream Giver. 

If you find yourself with a desire that no experience in this world can satisfy, then the most probable explanation is that you were made for another world. *

To pluck out the weeds, and keep tending to that which is good. And eternal.


* CS Lewis

** I'm camping out at my folks this weekend. I am doing something that frightens and excites me - leaving my phone at home. Space to be in the present over the weekend, and enjoy, and soak in family time this Easter. With no distractions, and energy-sucking devices. I have some posts ready and scheduled for each day (don't miss tomorrow's, by my lovely friend Amanda!)
See you on the flip side! x

*** Thank you, with all my heart to those who commented their courage-giving words on my rather emo post yesterday. It meant the world. xx

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

106/365 • hopes dashed

Remember when I got a little vulnerable?
I found out today I wasn't picked for the Top 100 Voices of 2014 after all. 
Despite allowing myself to hope.
And that dark lonely corner I wrote about? Part of me wants to crawl over there and cry.

Instead, I cleaned my pantry, baked banana muffins and made granola.
I still may cry. I haven't decided whether or not I'll let myself feel what seems a tiny little bit like not-good-enough rejection.
I almost chose not to be vulnerable here (because, you know, where did it get me, really?).
But obviously she who wears her heart on her sleeve can't help herself.

Chin up, shoulders back, keep going.


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

105/365 • tea with me | makes me brave

Today, it's coffee. With frothy coconut milk and extra hot water.
It would be late morning; we are well established already with slow mornings.
Most of our morning was spent in bed, woken by three littles excited their daddy is finally home. Wrestles and tickles ensued, until I was saved by someone wanting breakfast.

If you were to tea with me today, I'd tell you I'm excited Daniel is home today.

I've missed him. We all have.
I'd also tell you how excited I am to have a couple of hours to myself, locked in for later today.
You'll find me at a cafe, with a cappuccino and my favourite pens. 
I am hoping some space, and a different setting will inject inspiration and let the words flow.

I'll share with you over our hot mugs the doubt I struggle with daily.
About how the bravery comes at the end of the day. My thoughts for tomorrow are brave. I look forward to the following day in anticipation, expectation, ready. Dreams overflowing, and a confidence in the possibility in reaching them.
By the following morning though, all bravery has dissipated. 
I am back to wondering if I can even do this. Wondering where it is I should be going and what I should be doing. Clarity seems to fade into doubt and I'm back where I started.

I think you'll probably tell me to do it anyway. Do it when I'm not feeling brave, do it even though it scares me. Keep going because there are words in me that need to be written and even if there's one person who needed to read them then that's one reason I need to let them out.

Tea with friends make me brave. I come away refreshed and encouraged. Given courage. 
I can do this mum thing. I can do this wife thing. I can do this writing thing. I can!

What do you need to get brave for?
What's on your heart? Tea with me today?

Write a blog post and link up, or hashtag your photos #teawithteacupstoo and share something there.

Until next week


* I am going to try to combine my 'tea with me' posts with some form of self portrait, inspired by Pink Ronnie and her lessons in self portraiture. I apologise in advance. ;)

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Monday, April 14, 2014

104/365 • taking stock | april

Making : crochet coasters for an IG snail mail friend. Popcorn. Always the old fashioned way. Add melted butter and sea salt

Cooking : a meal from the freezer tonight: Bolognese full of spinach and carrots and celery - hidden goodness

Drinking : coffee today, with home made coconut milk. banana smoothies: home made greek yoghurt, home made coconut milk, two bananas, 1 egg, vanilla extract, honey, ice. blend. yum.

Reading: I ordered some books last week, I hope they arrive soon. Eden has been reading 'Are You My Mother?' over and over. I love hearing her fluency improving. "You are not my mother! You are a Snort!"

Enjoying: My sister-in-law's yummy banana and raspberry cake for morning tea

Waiting: I spent the weekend distracting myself from waiting for the husband to arrive home from his fishing trip. He got back late this afternoon exhausted, full of fishy stories and with a gleam in his eye

Wondering: If I can do things. If I can do a lot of things. 

Loving: School holidays!

Hoping: For some cooler, truer autumn weather

Marvelling: The afternoon sunlight is filtering through my bedroom windows. Magnolia shadows are dancing across my unmade bed. 

Needing: Some time, and space to write

Smelling: Fresh sheets in their basket, ready for all our beds tonight. 

Wearing: My elk bracelets (similar here). I slide them onto my wrist almost every day

Noticing: Growing. My kiddos are growing. Eight-year-olds are pretty wonderful

Feeling: Writers block-ish. Is that a feeling?


Sunday, April 13, 2014

103/365 • recalibrated, reset, refreshed

Roads in our south west are winding, and often narrow.
Brown gravel, and arching trees either side, dappled sunlight filters through as we drive. Shadows and light.
Vineyards and wineries, and rolling hills.
Nostalgia lives here, and brings to mind every family holiday, and a lifetime of memories.
And now, with friends that have become family we've chosen, the memories are woven here now for my littles.
A weekend away has been just what we've needed while the Mr is on his fishing trip.
Spontaneous, and filled with enough tea and conversation to keep me inspired and excited, the change of scenery has re-ignited the spark, and recalibrated my heart.
The perfect beginning to our two week school holiday break.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

102/365 • authentic, imperfect

Belonging is the innate human desire to he part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.*
What a powerful statement.
I caught myself watching Eden today. She is sweet, and silly. But she can often be difficult, and highly strung. In my mind I realized I was ready to tell her to tone it down a little. A life lesson I though might help her build friendships. To do what she can to fit in.
How completely wrong this train of thought was. I caught it mid air, as I sucked in my breath sharp and wondered if this is a thought pattern I've held onto subconsciously all my life. If not my adult years, then definitely though high school. Without a doubt as a child.
Hoping for that sense of belonging, and trying to be everything to everyone.
Without realising that the most attractive souls are the ones who are just that. Themselves.

*Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Friday, April 11, 2014

101/365 • early I will seek thee

Two mornings ago, in a bleary-eyed but no less determined state to wake up out of my current spiritual stupor, I obeyed my 6am alarm. It's only taken me all year but I did.
Sleepily resolute, and about to boil the kettle, an orange glow from the back window caught my eye.
Pulling the lens cap from my camera as I tiptoed to the back I was awestruck at the sight of the sky. These pictures far from do it justice; I have no idea how to capture light and sky, let alone the colours I saw. 
Oranges and pinks, bright against the dawn blue shouted at me, "this is what you've been missing!" 
The Creator at work, as I sleepily snooze my alarm.

The sunrise was over by the time I'd Instagrammed, and over and over in my mind I recalled Psalm 19. The heavens declare the glory of God. The sky proclaims. 
The heavens remind us, beckon to us to come closer, remember our Creator. His majesty.
And amongst the massive? The close. The intimate.
The knowing of He who knows it all. 
That I'd be there, barefoot in my kitchen, enticed by His colour, captured by His masterpiece. Reward for rising early. A coming good of a promise.
A divine appointment. 

early I will seek thee...*


* Psalm 63:1